


I am Terrified

by stormie92



Series: Heartman [1]
Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Acceptance, Beached Things, Death, Death Stranding - Freeform, Depression, Gen, Heartman x reader - Freeform, Hurt, Love, Sadness, Small fight, happiness, heartman x you - Freeform, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormie92/pseuds/stormie92
Summary: You and Heartman have always cared for one another. Finally, the two of you admit it but then Heartman has started to have second guesses. Why? And can you fix them?
Relationships: Heartman x Reader, heartman x you
Series: Heartman [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2151705
Kudos: 2





	I am Terrified

**Author's Note:**

> Heartman, my heart belongs to you . . . man. ;) 
> 
> I will see myself out. Bye.

Your lips crashed against his. Soft, was the only word that came to mind. God . . . how soft his lips are. In shock and surprise, he pulled back and studied you.  
"What is this?" he asked.  
A blush covered your face "I . . I am so sorry. I must have read this all wrong? I like you and thought yo-"  
"I do, uh, like you . . . Y/N, it's just been so long . . . and I wasn't sure how you felt" he touched your cheek. His warmth radiated through the spot where his hand rested. "May I?"  
You nodded. Heartman kissed you back so gently. Moving, being incredibly carefully, you got into a position where you were straddling him. Little moans escaped from the two of you. His hands wrapped your waist. Your fingers latched into his hair. This, right here, was Heaven. Sadly . . . Heaven was interrupted. 

1 MINUTE UNTIL CARDIAC ARREST.

"Shit--" Heartman groaned under his breath.  
You chuckled and kissed his cheek "Want me to leave? Or?"  
He shook his head "No, no . . . stay, if you will."  
Smiling you replied "I'll always be here for you, Heartman. See you soon" you winked.

21 minutes went by and Heartman came back to you. You grinned and went over to him when he quickly stood up. He turned away from you, walked over to the window and looked out at the snow covered mountains.  
"Heartman?"  
He stood still and silent.  
"Hey . . . what's going on?"  
Heartman took a quick glance at the photo of his wife and daughter. You noticed.  
"Oh . . . did . . . did you find them?"  
"No, I did not. Thousands of beaches but none of them belonged to my family."  
You walked oved and placed a hand on his shoulder. Quickly, he shook it off and moved to grab the photograph.  
"Listen" you began to speak "I am so sorry you didn't find either of them. I am . . . but, and forgive me if this is harsh, what your problem? You'll find them."  
He shook his head, placed the photo back down and stole a look at you "It isn't them. I admit that I may not ever find them but this?" He motions between the two of you.  
"This is my problem."  
You scoffed "What?"  
"You. You're my problem."  
"Oh . . ." was all you were able to say.  
"I am afraid, Y/N."  
"Of what?"  
"You . . . this . . . us. The Death Stranding. When I met you, Y/N, I knew that we would have something special. And it scares me. It scares me because I have not loved anyone in years. Every single time I die, I search for my family . . . I still do but I find myself searching a little less each time because I do not know what the hell I would do if I found them, especially when I have you" his eyes started to water.  
"Heartman" you whispered taking a step closer.  
"There is more. I'm afraid of losing you too. When you travel with Sam to get samples or help on some of his little missions, I worry that one day Sam or Deadman or Die-Hardman will contact me and tell me you are gone. After everything I have loss since this all began, I . . . I don't want to lose you too on top of it. My heart would be unable to bear it. So yes, I'm afraid."  
"Can I hold you?" you questioned and studied his face. Behind his tear soaked eyes, you saw them light up.  
"Yes, you can."  
You walked forward and wrapped your arms around him. You massaged his neck and back.  
Delicately speaking into his ear "I am afraid too, you know? I've been in love with you since I met you. And I am always afraid of something happening to either of us too. I cannot afford to lose you. I need you."  
"Y/N" he mumbled as he kissed your neck.  
"I also always worried what you would do if you ever did find your family. The selfish part of me would want you to pick me but truly, I would understand and be happy for you if you chose to stay with them. Heartman? What I have learned in this world of ours is that death is literally around every single corner. None of us known when or how it will happen . . . so, we need to find ways to live while we are alive. You know? Do things that scare us as well, like loving another person. We all die in the end . . . but at least we will die knowing we were loved and loved back. I never knew your wife or daughter . . . they loved you though, so they must have been amazing and kind like you are. I know for a fact that neither of them would mind you finding someone here. Being happy. You are allowed to be happy. As am I."

You let him go. He closed his eyes and sniffled. Before wiping away some of his tears, you stood on your tiptoes and kissed him under his eyes. His eyes fluttered open and he grabbed your hands.  
"You are, dare I say, perfect."  
"Hm . . I guess I am."  
"You are very right though, Y/N. And yes, neither of them would mind me loving someone here. They would have wanted me to be happy and not miserable. Yes, death does exist every where we look now . . guess it is better to live while we can. Can we make this official? If you want, that is! I don't wish to make you feel like you need-"

1 minute until Cardiac Arrest

He sighed as he walked over to rest. You followed behind him and knelt down to kiss him. It was gentle but needy and welcoming.  
"You talk too much sometimes, Heartman. Yes!! We can make this official."  
He took your hand in his and brought it to his lips, leaving little pecks all over your hand and forearm "I am grateful for you. Stay."  
"Not leaving. You are, quite honestly, stuck with me now." 

30 seconds until Cardiac Arrest

"I don't mind that. I love you."  
"And I love you too."

His heart gave out shortly after. You sat down near him but far enough away that when he was brought back you wouldn't be touching or close enough that he may accidently bump you when he wakes. A smile crossed your face. 

Heartman totally stole your heart, man.


End file.
